Reflection

Talking on the phone with my best friend and we’re just laughing and talking shit like we always do, I love when our conversations turn into “sessions” that usually consist of us just trying to psychoanalyze each other. We start talking about our past relationships and as we’re talking about them she yells at me “STOP BEING SO OPTOMISTIC!!” I was taken back by this, not by the yelling (that always happens) but by what she yelled! Me? Optimistic? Hmmmmm that’s something I had never heard before…especially in a conversation that involved ex boyfriends. I found myself truly reflecting on the positivity that has come from past relationships.

It’s so easy to feel discouraged when a relationship ends; often we find ourselves questioning everything! Trying to put the pieces together of why it didn’t work. We drive ourselves crazy trying to pin point that very moment of where and when it went wrong. What if we took a different approach? What if we asked ourselves questions that forced us to focus on OURSELVES? What did I learn from this? In what way did I grow? What questions am I left with about myself? What is my identity after this relationship? What if we chose to dig out the positivity of a fucked up situation? Instead of sitting around hating someone, why not choose to grow from it? Not only will it help you let go but you might find something even greater within yourself. Find peace and solace in reflecting on beautiful moments you once had with someone because they were moments of bliss. The most beautiful feeling is knowing you’ve overcome a stepping stone in your life that has molded you into a better person. Every relationship placed in our path is for a bigger purpose that only we can figure out.

I’m dancing in the restroom listening to my Calvin Harris Pandora station (obvi I’m jumping up and down in my underwear). When Summer by Calvin Harris comes on, I stop dancing and just remember him. This was our song; this was the song that sparked everything. I look at my phone and notice a year ago we were in Cabo together having the time of our lives. Then it hits me that it’s been a year since I’ve seen him. I thought I would be sad, I thought I would feel hurt, I thought I would feel this rush of emotions. I only felt gratitude. I smiled as I reflected on our time together. I smiled as I thought of the friendship we once had. I thought to myself wow; I really do wish him the best. I turned up the music louder, I smiled and thought to myself this is truly a Caya_Te & Live moment.

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Cabo 2016

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