Good Mom, Bad Mom

She called me a horrible mother! I wasn’t trying to be a horrible mother. Did I lose my temper a little? Yes I did but that’s only because I asked her to get ready for bed more than once! She knew the rules, if I have to repeat myself the iPod goes away! Aaahhh now she’s crying, now she’s devastated. Now I’m the “bad mom”. I’m the one that has to walk away as she cries in her room when all I want to do is hug her. I want to give her the damn iPod, I just want her to be happy! No, she broke the rules, she has to understand why the rules are in place.

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Oh, hi there babes. That was just the internal fight I had with myself the other night when my kid broke the rules and I had to take her iPod away. I didn’t even give her the damn thing but that’s how it goes right? Other people give our kids something cool and the moms have to come in as the “bad guy” and set the rules. Oh and for us single moms, we have to be the good moms and the bad moms? Aye dios mio! How do we manage? How do we find that balance? You’re telling me we have to be the nurturing, kind and encouraging mom once second and then come in and ground our kids, make them cry and take their toys away the next? I’ll be the first to shout, THAT’S NOT FAIR!

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Don’t worry single mama you got this! Yes, it is so damn hard to watch your kid cry, it’s even harder to walk away from them when they don’t stop crying. Hold YOUR ground! Do NOT give in. I promise you your kid will be okay. If you need to walk into another room for a second to keep your shit together, do it. There is nothing wrong with feeling guilty about disciplining your child, we want to love them, we want them to be happy but we also need to hold down the fort. Could you imagine what would happen if we gave in? We would become door mats and I don’t know about you but I refuse to be a door mat. No, stick to your punishment, they will thank you later (okay maybe not literally). They will become better tiny humans because of the rules you set in place. They will grow up understanding that as a single mother you had no choice but to play good mom, bad mom in the household. Who else is going to do it? Hang in there single mama!

The next day when I was about to drop off my daughter at school she apologized. She then asked me if she could have her iPod back after school. I told her she had to go one full day without the iPod, those were the rules. She agreed and went to class, she didn’t cry, she wasn’t sad. She understood. That day I went to work thinking about all the other single parents out there that have to go through this. All the other parents who have to play good cop, bad cop on their own. How do you do it? How do you find that balance? Comment or email me and let me know! I’m so curious to hear from other parents on this!

As always don’t forget to CayaTe & Live

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